Loneliness – Flossie Stewart, Christian Author & Speaker

There are no ‘ifs’ in God’s Kingdom. His timing is perfect. His will is our hiding place. Lord Jesus, keep me in Your will! Don’t let me go mad by poking about outside it. ~ Corrie ten Boom.

“I waited patiently for the Lord; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry. He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.” – Psalm 40:1-2

“Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.”- Psalm 27:14

“Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass. He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday. Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for Him;…But those who wait on the LORD, they shall inherit the earth.” – Psalms 37: 5-7a, 9b (NKJV)

“But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.” – Isaiah 40:31

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater: So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.” – Isaiah 55:8-11

I’ve been “alone” for two years now. When I say “alone”, I don’t mean totally alone, because I know my Heavenly Father is always with me. But August 29th, 2022 marked two years since my precious husband passed away. Now, as the fall and Holiday seasons approach, I am looking around and seeing more and more people who have suddenly found themselves alone. For another powerful and thought-provoking post I did on this a few years ago, click here.

Sometimes, we question separations – seasons of life when someone’s part in our story may be over, and it can be hard to WAIT on God during these times. We tend to jump in and try to fix it ourselves when He doesn’t move on our timetable (I get into this some in my book). Sometimes, especially when it involves family or friends you had come to trust, it may only be for a season. But it is especially hard when it is a permanent separation, as in divorce, loss of a job, or the death of a loved one. Yet, for whatever reason, we have entered a season of being, or feeling, alone.

As far as temporary separations, I have come to think of it like Corrie ten Boom and her father must have thought of an old clock, or watch. Sometimes, our perfect, all-knowing Heavenly Father has to take the “clock” apart, fix the parts that are broken, and then, in His way and His perfect time, put it back together.

We will always mess up when we try to put our hands in there and “fix” it ourselves. It is in these seasons of temporary separations that we must learn to sit still and trust His process, wait on His perfect timing, and keep our eyes and our focus on Him. We need to use this time to pray and grow closer to Him and ask Him to help us learn what it is He is trying to teach us. Everything else will come together at the perfect time He has chosen (See Matthew 6:33).

As far as the more permanent separation, as in the passing of a loved one, or other circumstances in which you have suddenly found yourself alone, it may seem you can only think of your life like a broken watch or clock that is beyond repair. I know because that’s how I’ve felt many times after my sweet husband passed away, and my dear mother only 3 months later. And I know what I watched my parents go through in the years after we lost my brother, Charles, at only 9 years old, when I was 12. I know the void that it left in my life, growing up without him.

It is during these seasons of finding ourselves alone, broken, and hurting that we can only surrender the broken pieces to Him, our Heavenly Father, and trust Him to turn what the enemy meant to destroy us into a powerful testimony for His glory.

Trust the “Clock Maker” – He knows exactly what He’s doing. After all, only He can see what the broken pieces can be when He puts them back together as only He can. And only He can see whether another broken “watch”, or “clock” somewhere else may have a part that can help yours. Somewhere, someone else is going to be going through what you have gone through, and you have the strength and wisdom you have learned that can help them. Perhaps it helps to remember that He made us all, and He knows the perfect ways we can work to help each other, just as the “Clock Maker” knows that if He made all of the watches, or clocks, then He knows exactly how the parts can work interchangeably.

He has it all timed perfectly if we only trust Him. Your season is coming, right on time. You may feel broken beyond repair, but you can trust the “Clock Maker” who created you and knows just what it will take to fix you. You might not ever be exactly the same as you were before, but when you trust Him to complete the healing and repair process as only He can, it is then that you will be fully prepared and equipped to be His instrument to help repair others who are broken and fulfill a purpose that only He knows.

It may seem you are alone for now, but He is always there, watching over His own, and promised He would never leave us nor forsake us. He knows the plans He has for you, just as the watch maker knows the potential he sees for that one watch that seemed beyond repair. He not only knows the plans He has for you (Jeremiah 29:11), He’s already there.

If He made you, then He knows how to fix you. Trust the Clock Maker. After all, if you belong to Him, and you are walking with our precious Jesus, then you were never really “alone” after all. It only seems that way while He is gently repairing you as only He can, so that He can then use you to help Him fix another “broken watch”. After all, you might have just the part He needed. But you will never know until you surrender all those broken pieces to Him and simply trust Him. Who else could possibly understand the unfathomable concept of perfect timing better than the Great Clock Maker Himself, our Creator and Heavenly Father, Who knew the plans He had for us to begin with (Psalms 139:13-16) long before time began?

“When they heard the king, they departed; and behold, the star which they had seen in the East went before them, till it came and stood over where the young Child was. When they saw the star, they rejoiced with exceedingly great joy. And when they had come into the house, they saw the young Child with Mary His mother, and fell down and worshiped Him. And when they had opened their treasures, they presented gifts to Him: gold, frankincense, and myrrh.” – Matthew 2:9-11

“And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled ’till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store? What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more?”
― Dr. Seuss, How the Grinch Stole Christmas!

Well, here it is, Christmas time again, everyone’s favorite time of year…or not…

Unfortunately, with each passing year, more and more people I know have ended up in that second category. For these people and their families, the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays no longer hold the joy they once did. They are unable to feel the joy of the season because of the overwhelming feelings of grief and sadness. In many cases, the loss of their loved one has happened unexpectedly, only weeks or days before the beginning of the holiday season. Then too, others are unable to “get into the spirit” because they know they will be spending the holidays alone. Of course, being a “military brat” myself, my Dad having served fourteen years in the U.S. Army, I know first hand, there are many who have a loved one who happens to be deployed at the time of the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays. I also know what it’s like to feel the pangs of grief because of a loved one taken way too soon, and the big hole it leaves in your heart, and your family. For these reasons, I couldn’t let this Christmas go by without at least offering my take on it all. I know that all the pretty words in the world won’t bring a loved one back, but still, a comforting word from one who’s been there can help more than you know.

No matter what reason a family you know might find themselves with an empty chair at their Christmas table this year, we cannot forget the reason we are celebrating Christmas in the first place, and it is because of Him, our Savior, Jesus Christ, God’s gift to us, that was given so that we could receive the gift of eternal life. We cannot forget that if we have that light of hope in our hearts that comes through having a relationship with Him, then we can share that light with others who are less fortunate than ourselves, those who are hurting, and those who are so overcome with sadness and grief, especially when it involves one who was lost way too soon, who had their whole lives ahead of them. I know several classmates (different schools) who have tragically lost a child. I also know from experience, what my family, especially my parents, went through when we lost my brother, Charles, at only 9 years old. The Christmas of ’77 is forever etched in my memory, and at times over the years, it has seemed almost as if I have been unable to move past that point. There were 3 of us kids, I was the oldest, 12 at the time. Our younger brother had just started school. Charlie’s passing left a big hole in our family that nothing can ever fill…that is, except the love and comfort of our Savior, the “peace that passes understanding”. But those who are hurting will never know we care, and that He cares, if we don’t share it with them.

“You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house.Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.” – Matthew 5:14-16

For those families, friends, or others we may know who are going through this, it goes without saying that it can be rather painful, to see all of the photos posted on (I’ll just say, “social media”), of the seemingly picture perfect families, and the beautifully set holiday dinner tables. Then too, even for those who still manage to gather together for Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner, or even a New Year’s party, no matter how nicely and festively, or sparsely, their table might be set, it does nothing for the emptiness and pain of grief they feel because of that empty chair, where someone they loved should have been. Whether it’s a family grieving the loss of a loved one, a family facing Christmas without a deployed parent, husband, or wife, or someone spending Christmas alone for the first time, (I’ve been through my share of “Hard Candy Christmases”, too) it can be all too easy to label them a “Scrooge” or a “Grinch” when they post on social media about how they are unable to get into the Christmas spirit, or something to that extent (Okay, so you just thought it, that’s still just as bad, but hey, we’re all guilty on that one). I’ll even go so far as to say that with all that has been going on lately, and having just lost a cousin on my Dad’s side, I will admit I myself have been feeling more like a “Scrooge” at the beginning of the season. But let’s just back this whole thing up a minute…

This morning, my husband and I were led to Matthew, chapter 18. At the beginning of the chapter, Jesus calls a little child to Him, and tells those listening, that in order to enter the Kingdom of Heaven, we must all become like little children. So, to illustrate my point, I am going to do just that…

My youngest grandson recently spent some time with us during a period of transition with his daycare, and during that time, he wanted to watch “The Grinch that Stole Christmas”, the movie version with Jim Carrey as the Grinch, again and again. So, after awhile, I found myself really thinking about that story. I still remember the cartoon version of it we used to watch as kids. In the story, of course, we all know how the Grinch went to all that trouble to steal all the Christmas gifts, the turkeys and fixings for the Whos’ Christmas dinners, and even the Christmas trees, down to the last ornament, which he snatches up with glee, yet in the end, Christmas still came, without all the boxes, bags, bows, gifts, Christmas trees or decorations.

Perhaps, if we really stop and think about it for a moment, we can really begin to see how the moral of this story applies to all of us. Christmas will come, whether or not our tables are decorated with all the fancy fixings, or the least that could be afforded. It will come whether or not our homes are all aglow with lights and decorations, and it will come, no matter what is under the tree, or how many or how few gifts there are. And it will come just the same, to those who have empty chairs at their Christmas dinner table.

For those of us who have the Savior, our Lord, Jesus Christ living in our hearts, it is that same light that lit up the night sky those years ago as the bright, shining star that the wise men followed until they came to where the Christ child lay, that is still guiding us. (And by the way, as far as I have been able to see, the Bible does not actually say there were “three” wise men. It doesn’t even mention how many there were, or if they actually rode camels. In fact, although most pictures we’ve seen depict three wise men on camels following the star, and the “stable” in the distance, the Bible actually seems to indicate that it was probably sometime later before they arrived to see Him. Note that in verse 11 of Matthew 2, above, it says, “and when they had come into the house…”, not a stable. Click here to read more on this.)

So what I am saying is…if we truly have His light shining in us, then it goes without saying that we will be looking around us and taking note of those who can no longer feel the joy of Christmas. We will be His hands reaching out to help them in whatever way we can, whether it’s through sending a card, providing some needed food supplies, or a meal. We will be His mouth speaking a comforting word, and His feet walking to do whatever we can to show them we care, for if that light is truly shining within us, then and only then, will they see and feel the true, healing, and comforting joy and peace of Christmas.

That light is still guiding us, for the same Christ that the wise men worshipped that night, is the One Who lives inside of each of us, and “Christmas” is already inside of us. It is that light that they’re looking for, not what’s under the tree or on the table. So, think of this, next time you wish someone a Merry Christmas. And if we can’t show that love of Christ to others in need, whether they are friends, family, or people we don’t even know, then perhaps we’re the ones being a “Grinch” or a “Scrooge”. Besides, if we take even a moment to look at Christmas through the eyes of little “Cindy Lou Who”, perhaps it is then, that it will all make a bit more sense.

If the light of His love, the light of God’s hope that lit that star up those years ago, is truly shining through us, then every day is Christmas! Why wait for that one time of year to actually reach out and show His love to others? With that said, thanks for stopping by, feel free to share this with anyone who could use it! I hope you and your family have a truly wonderful Christmas, and a blessed New Year!